Journal entries
15/05/26, Thursday, 21:43
Watching/listening to: My mom and aunt talk in the kitchen
Feeling: neutral + tired
I love all my friends! I love how my school friends make everyone feel included even thought they couldn't make it to a hangout, or are sick, or just skipped school because they wanted to. I love being in a group where people care for eachother equally. I love how my online friends bother messaging me every once in a while, even thought we don't chat all that much when we do. I love how they all remember my interests and small details about me. I love being cared for. I love being loved!
07/05/26, Thursday, 23:00
Watching: Cellbit
Feeling: tired?
I've been thinking... and I REALLY need to get better health related habits. I often accidentally starve myself, since inside my brain having no appetite = no need for food apparently. And when I do eat something it's usually something that does not provide me nutrients at ALL. I've been sleeping way too late, my screentime reaches up to 8h daily, I've been noticeably more sedentary.... I worry for myself but at the same time I don't really bother fixing it. On a better note, I found the COOLEST tarantula at school yesterday and ever since I've been thinking about them nonstop. I'm in my spider era. Oh, also. Remember about that kitten my mom found that was stuck in our attic? It's ours now. His name is Bartolomeu, hes a white kitten with black spots, and he is the cutest. I do think I was rightly angry about getting ANOTHER pet, but at the same time I'm glad we did. Our cat Nina now plays with him sometimes, thought she's still a partypooper in general.
19/04/26, Sunday, 13:43
Watching: Cellbit
Feeling: in PAIN. I have a sore throat.
This entry contains brief mentions of animal death. Please thread carefully and DO NOT READ if it may make you unwell.
So... I've been VERY sick since Friday morning. Very weak and tired, runny nose, sneezing and coughing and such. I went to the ER this dawn and I have Influenza... whoopsies! Well I'm way better compared to this Friday AND I got a doctor's note for school, so, its not all misery! Also, I've been doing a bunch of research on the history of clowns (with some help from Maryam. Thank you clownoomf!) and I realized that the appearance of modern circus clowns stem from racist caricatures... which actually makes a lot of sense when ou think about it. Sadly for anyone reading this, my clown info page is NOWHERE near finished. Be patient and you'll be rewarded handsomely. Also, this thursday I found a mangled dead kitten, but I'd rather not talk in detail about that. It still makes a stomach turn by the thought of it.
13/04/26, Monday, 13:16
Listening to: 3'S - MSI
Feeling: conflicted
I went to a bar with my friends this Saturday. We played pool, ate cheesy fries and they got a bit tipsy... It was really fun! One small detail is that one of the people who went is kind of an "ex-friend" of mine. We had this whole situation where I fucked up and tried to make ammends on the condition she'd apologize for talking shit behing my back... except she didn't want to, so, we never officially made up. We treat eachother nicely on the day-to-day so thats good enough for me, I prefer to avoid useless arguments anyways. I really do try to see both sides in a situation like this but. Yknow. No one is perfect. Haha
Ps: Oi Dede!!!! :3
04/04/26, Saturday, 21:14
Ok so I tried adding some columns to the main page and I broke the display for a generous half an hour. I keep forgetting I do this for fun and don't actually know anything besides the basics. I'll stick to no divs for the rest of my pages for now... Lol. Also I met my friends new alter today, so that was fun!
03/04/26, Friday, 20:00
Happy Birthday 'A'!!! We went to the local park to commemorate. She brought party food for us. I'm glad she considers me a close friend (somewhat), considering we only got closer near the end of 2025. Shes great and I absolutely adore our friendgroup. I'm not afraid to be myself in there. About the kitten: It's a boy! And despite my past complaints... I'm warming up to him... He's a very sweet kitten... Complains a lot, pissed on my bed, had diahrrea all over his room, scratched my face and hands multiple times.... but I still love him dearly. I think his name will be Bartolomeu. A friend of mine suggested it.
31/03/26, tuesday:
Shocker, my mom found another kitten from the same litter and she wants to keep this one. My therapist told me to not bother with problems that aren't mine, and I seriously need to take that advice more strictly! Ever since this god forbidden litter has appeared I've been stressed day and night. I don't want a new cat. I don't NEED a new cat. But my mom is too self-absorbed to give the cat to someone who actually wants it.
Changing topics, I find pretty sad how my first entries are all about negative things lol. I promise I'm fun at parties, It's just not the best time of my life right now! Nothing really impressive has happened to me on the past few days though.
30/03/26, monday:
Update on the kitty: since she was too young to be separated from her mom, we thought the best was to let her loose again and meet again with her mom. During mondays night she was screaming non-stop looking for her mom. So she clearly didn't want to stay with us. And, just between us, I don't want another cat either. For context, my family already has 5 dogs and a cat. Our house is too small to have another pet, but I suppose my mom has a heart of gold and wants to adopt every single street animal that crosses her way. Happy ending to both parties!
29/03/26, sunday:
During todays dawn (5-6am) I heard constant meowing and I couldnt sleep properly. At first I ignored it because, obviously it was still dark outside, and also because my neighbourhood is full of cats, so this wasn't THAT far from the ordinary. The meowing stopped at some point. Fast foward to 8:45AM, it came back. I looked out of my window and the first thing I see is a filthy kitten on my garages floor, looking at me horrified. I went outside and got it (it absolutely butchered my fingers...) and at the moment its sitting on a cardboard box covered by a towel, with a makeshift bed inside, some food and some water. It hasn't left the corner since I put it in there but its way calmer than earlier.
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